37-year-old arrested for meeting to have sex with 12-year-old
Hillsborough County man met girls on MySpace in order to have sex:
Mr. Clean over there is 37-year-old Edward Oberwise of Hillsborough County, Florida. He’s been arrested for having sex with a 12-year-old girl he met over MySpace.
Police were tipped off by the girl’s 14-year-old friend who told her parents.
So let’s hear it sex offender defenders. Please tell me how you think that this man who was 25 years older than his victim was not at fault.
Tags: child-sex, Edward-Oberwise, florida, Hillsborough-County, MySpace
269 opinions for 37-year-old arrested for meeting to have sex with 12-year-old
Fiona
Jan 14, 2008 at 9:41 am
Public castration of sex offenders, especially pedophiles, is a good idea. Agreed? Good.
Brian B
Jan 14, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Thank you for your blog. I am a very close relative of the 12 year old victim in this case. Do we have any recourse against MySpace? Are they allowed to be a supermarket for predators like this?
g
Jan 14, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Ever think this guy has a family maybe kids how do you think they feel
BelchSpeak
Jan 14, 2008 at 3:31 pm
G,
Ask they guy how his family feels. Im sure he’s touched them and could describe them well.
BelchSpeak
Jan 14, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Brian B,
Any legal recourse may be an uphill battle. You would have to find that MySpace was to blame.
One way to do that would be to prove that adequate age verification software exists and MySpace negligently refused to implement the software.
Remember, MySpace did not fail the girl by allowing a perv to contact her. They failed her by allowing her on MySpace because she is too young.
g
Jan 14, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Well smarty I am a family friend ans can garantee you from person knowledge that he never touch his kids in any way
BelchSpeak
Jan 14, 2008 at 4:49 pm
G,
You can’t guarantee any such thing. One thing I can guarantee, however, is if he is convicted of raping little kids, he will never again touch or even hug his own children until they are adults. If they still want anything to do with his child-touching ass.
psychosomatic
Jan 14, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Another example of a bad guy vs. child(ren) of bad parenting. 5 people need to be put in jail.
BelchSpeak
Jan 14, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Trench, did you see his T-shirt?
http://tinyurl.com/29r7ca
g
Jan 14, 2008 at 5:00 pm
OK so tell me when these girls were allegely having sex - I have not seen the word rape used anywhere so we will go with this, where were there parents?? As a parent I monitor my kids activities and my daughters myspace account.
Trench
Jan 14, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Belch, I saw that after I posted this.
g
Jan 14, 2008 at 5:12 pm
Just to say I am not condoning what he has done in any way, but I have know him for almost 20 yrs and am in aw over this. This is something I would never have expected from him ever!!!!
BelchSpeak
Jan 14, 2008 at 5:15 pm
G,
You are right to correct me. It wasn’t rape. Just 10 separate counts of lewd and lascivious battery of a minor. Ten Class 2 felonies.
And he’s in jail without bond.
http://tinyurl.com/36qzxe
g
Jan 14, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Listen I am not trying to be some kind of smart butt, but there are 3 families and lots of emotions involved in what has taken place. Like I said I do not condone what has happened, but when you have a case like this it is best to watch how things are said.
BelchSpeak
Jan 14, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Well, “lewd and lascivious battery” is Florida’s fancy way of saying “statutory rape.”
scubacowboy
Jan 14, 2008 at 7:32 pm
I have known him since I was 7. I lived directly across the street from him until we moved out of our parents homes. I cant say that I would have expected something like this. Leaving my personal relationship with him aside, I feel all these pricks need to be dealt with harshly, however I will say that this type of crime is on the rise, and I feel that the parents of the victim should also be held somewhat acountable as well, if you don’t know what your minor children are doing on the web you need to!!
Laurie
Jan 14, 2008 at 9:11 pm
This type of crime may be on the rise because of convenience. This is not a new crime. Older men have always preyed on young girls. And, I am sure women have preyed on younger men, as well. The internet just makes it easier, for men anyway. Global connections, right?
This guy definitely deserves prison time. The young girls need services - as do the families involved.
Children on the computer at any age should be closely monitored - but it doesn’t stop there. We must know where our kids are and what they are doing, check up on them. Teenagers are a lot of hard work. You can’t plunk a kid down in front of the PC like you can the TV.
As for offenders, it has been proven that castration does not work. We need to change our thinking, because none of the so called solutions we have come up with have worked. Prevention and education and prison terms that last a life time for hard core offenders, and pedophiles may be a good start. They should not be placed in civil confinement ‘hotels’ at taxpayers cost. Let them go to Prison.
It is good that myspace is cooperating.
The thing that always gets me, is why these guys continue to do this, even tho’ they must see the news reports and programs, or the newspaper and see what happens to someone who preys on young girls on the internet. Do they not recognize themselves? Do they not realize what they are doing?
Kathy
Jan 15, 2008 at 10:42 am
I’m all for parental responsibility. However, this adult man contacted, “wooed” and met this 12 year old girl. He then proceeded to place his penis inside of her. A very DELIBERATE act on his part. So let’s keep the blame where it belongs. Just because it was convenient doesn’t make it any less illegal.
And for those of you who can’t believe he did this, you may want to sit back and think a minute. He was caught going back for seconds - wearing the most ironic T shirt by the way.
Brian B
Jan 15, 2008 at 12:56 pm
G,
So this is a friend of yours? A 37 year old trolling for 12 year olds on MySpace? Who lasciviously sexually battered a 12 year old and a 14 year old TEN TIMES?
Parents can only do so much, but Ed will pay for his reprehensible acts, you Seminole redneck pervert lover… I hope he gets ahold of your kids someday and does the same thing.
Brian B
Jan 15, 2008 at 1:01 pm
G,
This is a 37 year old who lives with his mommy. If you are his friend, please pass along to him that things are much safer for him on the inside, there are a host of people just waiting to pay eddie the perv a visit. Maybe you can tag along with him. For his sake, he’d better not make bond.
g
Jan 15, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Listen Brian just cause I am a friend does not mean that I condone what he did. Do not bash me for being a friend my only concern is for his kids that he has. If you want to bash go bash a wall. Even pervs have friend, but this one had no idea that this would ever happen!!!!!!! some times you just do not know!!!!!
g
Jan 15, 2008 at 1:26 pm
As for being a redneck, I do not even live in the same county hello just cause people are friends does not mean you need to be name calling. There are people everywhere, and some times you would never suspect them of acting this was. Maybe he can come get your kids, does that make it right for you to say he should come after mine. Grow up!!!!!
g
Jan 15, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Next time before you leave a comment read my prior ones that say may may may times I DO NOT CONDONE WHAT HE HAS DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
psychosomatic
Jan 15, 2008 at 1:56 pm
The guy is a criminal and needs to be locked up. Also it’s called ’sex addiction’; to those who keep asking the usual ‘I don’t understand why someone would do that’ question.
Now, he had to have been with the two for a few hours in order to so what he did. What responsible parent lets their child(ren) slip away for that long? Again, I say lock up the fucking parents as well simply for HAVING GIVEN BIRTH for the wrong reasons!!
JEN
Jan 15, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Well to all you out there I am a close personal friend of this guy and I would never have beleived him to do this. I have seen him with his own kids and he is a great father. I know that he never touched them in any way sexually. My question is why the girls parents are not monitoring them did they look or say they were older then they appeared to be, now adays I have seen girls that are 12 & 14 and they do not dress act or look their ages, so who lured who??? I think the parents are just as much at fault for their kids actions and behaviors. This happens all the time, so now its a big case. Grow up world. I dod not condone having sex with under age girls, but it takes two to tango.
cowboy
Jan 15, 2008 at 2:02 pm
I agree lock up the parents!!!!!!!!! When you have kids and do not monitor them this is what happens. There are crazy people in the world as we can see. Lock them all away. PARENTS GET WITH THE PROGRAM WATCH YOUR KIDS ACTIVITIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BelchSpeak
Jan 15, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Ah Jen, you are a cupid stunt.
It does not “take two to tango” when there are children involved. And it does not happen “all the time” and regardless if the child was a certified prostitute with double D’s, its still the adult’s fault.
That’s why kids don’t enter into contracts, vote or allowed to smoke or drink. They are considered too young to make good decisions on their own. Adults are supposed to make good decisions, such as not giving the slippy finger to a little kid.
If you are a close friend of this douchebag along with G, I am beginning to see now why he makes such awful decisions. No one around him has ever given him an ounce of good advice.
As for his kids, is there a Mom around? Or are they wards of the state now?
JEN
Jan 15, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Thanks for that great comment but at 12 & 14 they knew darn well what they were doing sex is everywhere. And yes there is a mother around who is very smart and keeping them away from all this drama. Just cause I am a friend does not mean I agree with what was done but you do not wait for days to tell someone if it was as bad as it is being portrayed. At 12 & 14 they knew exactly what they were doing, and where were the parents during all of this, they should be to blame as well as the perv.
JJ
Jan 15, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Sounds like this topic never has a solution because of the major flaw in the belief system of many. You cannot seem to get away from “popular” thinking which should not be valid. Let us not forget that America and many other nations are led by religion and politics and that alone creates a blind spot for most people. It prevents them from seeing “real” humanity and the instincts of man. 12 year olds “typically” had sex generations ago. It was very common and it still is in some parts of the world. The problem isn’t 12 year olds having sex. It’s the “perception” of those who complain. Many of these incidents are healthy situations that are deemed “bad” by the condemners. Only those that are bad are the ones having children raised by idiots. But then again those same children are out doing drugs if not having sex. You cannot change the route a 12 year old takes no matter how much you dictate. The world will never change the fact that 12 year olds have sex with 37 year olds. It isn’t a crime. It’s a taboo. And because of Chrisitianity and other hypocrisies, taboos are deemed immoral. Oh, And i should mention that I married a 17 year old girl when I was 30 and fourteen years later we are still happily married with two children. I guess the shock value wore off the local citizens since they have nothing better to do than look for negatives in people. HYPOCRITS EVERYWHERE.
Sparky
Jan 15, 2008 at 5:36 pm
cowboy and jen,
So ed has kids? And he does this?
The parents had to listen as he spoke graphically with the 12 year old about all that they did, what they were going to do, etc. They had to sit there during the sting operation and listen to this gutless, child-raping creep.
This is a 12 year old child. And ed used his mother’s Jeep because ed doesn’t have a car. Ed’s in a world of trouble. He has a host of new friends who want to meet him, if/when he ever gets out. He messed with the wrong people’s daughters.
The parents monitored the MySpace and cell phones regularly and discovered it, and reported it. Way to blame the 12 year old victim, you lowlife losers…
Ed will never know from which side it is coming…
Rob
Jan 15, 2008 at 6:10 pm
I find it fascinating that people are actually coming out and defending this guy. It takes two to tango? Are you serious?
First of all, the girl is 12. Let’s go out on a limb here and say she’s a 12 year old with “loose morals” and did, in fact, lure Mr. Ed into a sexual relationship. The blame still lies on Ed. The 12 year old is too young to know….why the hell am I explaining this?
Fact of the matter: Girl 12, Man 37 with children of his own. He knows right from wrong, and he chose wrong. Now he’s going to pay for his sins regardess of wht the “Pedophile Fan Club” has to say.
Sparky
Jan 15, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Rob
What could be more sickening than these “people” defending ed.
Ed smooth-talked the girls into coming up to the park at midnight. There he got them in his Jeep and employed child-proof locks.
All of his actions are recorded digitally, he was only too happy to go over the whole episode with the 12 year old.
Sparky
Jan 15, 2008 at 6:20 pm
AND by the way, ed was taken down when he was COMING BACK FOR SECONDS.
I just hope his “friends” are there if ed ever gets out because they can become part of the conversation that ed and his friends are going to have with his host of new friends.
Sparky
Jan 15, 2008 at 6:22 pm
JJ,
You are a total creep and should be locked up next to ed. I wonder how it will be for you if a 37 year old man snuggles with your 12 year old son or daughter…
Laurie
Jan 17, 2008 at 8:06 am
Any parent that has a child under the age of consent, that is wooed and abused, is at fault as well.
This sick individual takes the major blame, but we are all to blame here. There is plenty of guilt to go around. Look at the news, look at what we teach our children.
We are reaping what we have sowed.
Sparky
Jan 17, 2008 at 11:43 am
Laurie,
The parents of the 12 year old monitored her computer and cell phone. They found out the day after. That night she was contacted by Ed on MySpace and the girls broke out a window in the house after midnight.
How much can parents do? Yes, there is some parental culpability but don’t forget that the child-rapist is ed. He lured the girls to the park, drove from Pinellas county after midnight, and then he was coming back for seconds.
Death is too good for ed. He needs to feel the pain that he inflicted on these families ten times over. He’ll get his…
Laurie
Jan 17, 2008 at 6:28 pm
I hear what you are saying Sparky - and I agree to a certain point. If there were no victims and no offenders, there would be no crime.
If the computer and cell phone were monitored, how did this particular incident happen? I have a daughter who is now 24 years old. She hated me for a few years, until she became an adult and understood why her father or myself had to tag along when she went out to concerts or other events. She now understands why she couldn’t go to many of the parties her friends had. It was tough. Parents need to be proactive. I am not blaming the victim, just stating the fact that we parents need to do more. There will always be victims and there will always be offenders. Treatment is so important and I hope these girls are getting the treatment they will need to heal so this does not become their future. They could pass on their knowledge to other kids.
Michele
Jan 17, 2008 at 7:16 pm
I have known Ed since I was 13 years old and I am now 32. To all his friends who say nah not Ed, yes he is a pervert and always has been. I had a childhood inapproriate relationship with him on and off for over a year when I was 13 years old and I caught him with girls younger than me, he was an ADULT. Now that I am 32 and see this it makes me sick to my stomach. He needs to be locked away. He has been sick all along. I feel for these poor girls, something is missing in their home life in order for this to be happening to them. Believe me I know.
Sparky
Jan 17, 2008 at 9:17 pm
One night and one communication slipped through the cracks. It was discovered the next day.
ED HAS A BAIL HEARING TOMORROW! I HOPE HE MAKES BAIL, OH I HOPE HE MAKES BAIL!!!
Sparky
Jan 17, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Michele,
That would have made him 17 when you were 13. And he continues to go after the girls that are even younger than you were…
Thanks for your honesty, I hope you are okay.
Michele
Jan 17, 2008 at 9:27 pm
No he was 18 actually, He was born in 1970 and I was born in 1975. I am very okay today. I had horrible parents and leaned on Ed when I was younger, he is such a piece of work I’ll tell you that much.
Sparky
Jan 17, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Michele,
I know the detectives are looking for additional victims. Even though you are 32 now, this crime has no statute of limitations in case you, or if you know any of the other victims, would come forward.
It would make sure that he is not able to do this to anyone else for a long, long time. He needs to be in jail where he can’t hunt and hurt any other little girls. Please let me know if you are willing and I will give you contact information.
Michele
Jan 17, 2008 at 9:40 pm
Thank you, I have the contact info actually. I thought there was a stature of limitations on this?
Dan
Jan 17, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Michele,
Wow, cool to hear from you. How much older was he when you were 13? Want to share your feelings on why you engaged in this relationship with him? It might help inform our ideas about kids and their sexuality.
I notice age 12 gets a lot stronger reaction that age 14. Interesting. There’s really not much difference.
The main problem is the newfound support and access for pedophiles. Kids are varying degrees of crazy: confused, high-strung, overly emotional, bad decision-makers. We can hold them responsible to the degree they can grow, but it’s never their fault. Even good parents can be tricked and deceived when an adult is aiding the covert operations. It’s definitely the offenders who are the problem here.
Not only is the access horrifying, these guys get all sorts of validation. Pedophiles see this conversation, we know they do. What they see is our justifiably violent revulsion, though it is not very informative, and a few self-serving justifications like JJs. They have all sorts of access to people who fill them with crap about kids being into sexual activities with adults.
Kids have to be manipulated to comply with sex from adults. They are almost completely vulnerable to adults. They are not fully formed people who know what’s right or how life works. Kids are always hurt by sexual contact with adults. It always negatively impacts them. Some get beyond it for the most part. Others are badly damaged. Sexual attention from adults always makes kids feel icky and dirty. That is the truth of the matter. Though there are degrees in all things, I have never heard of a child reporting otherwise.
Not all pedophiles are without conscience. Some never act on their impulses. What we do not need is purposeful lies deceptively justify outrageously damaging acts. If you are attracted to children, you are not necessarily a bad person. You need help. Get help right away. Medical facilities can refer you to free counseling. You can not be arrested for feelings. Be strong. Prove you’re a good, loving person.
Michele
Jan 17, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Dan you are correct in so many ways, let me explain some details of my story. When I was 11 my mom died, I had a horrible father who remarried the horrible step mother when I was 13. Dad was with the new wife never gave me a penny for school lunches, clothing etc. Ed graduated highschool with my brother and hung out with him and worked with him too. Ed filled the part I was missing, he actually took care of me finanically and in a lot of ways emotionally because he told me he “loved” me. It took me years to get over this actually, he manipulated me big time, not going to lie seeing this in the news stirred up feelings inside, but I am thankful for who I am today as I am able to overcome it.
Dan
Jan 17, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Oh, JJ, the argument that other cultures and times encouraged sex with kids is a poor one. Some cutures encourage incest. All sorts of primative behavior comes out of primative cultures. In this country and others, we’ve had the resources to investigate how sex impacts kids. Now we know for a fact that it is a crime against humanity.
And Laurie said that castration is not a cure. She’s right, and therapy is crucial. People need understanding to change. But I don’t think castration should be such a taboo. It does help these men greatly, depending on their situation. Sex isn’t everything. Humanity is much more important. Perhaps, coupled with therapy, castration should be an acceptible, respectible option. Everyone needs hope. Hopelessness can diminish empathy, something sex offenders badly need to cultivate.
Sex drive is a tremendous force. Hard to resist. We often put serious offenders back on the street with no tools. An amputated libido, while it doesn’t remove all thoughts and feelings, can be a great tool.
And as for it not being optional, sometimes when someone has a pathology and can’t control themselves, we step in. Drunk drivers get their licenses yanked. It is viewed as compassionate to give addicts compulsory treatment. Pedophiles with conscience do not want to offend but they often report feeling helpless. We should step in.
I can’t help but feel that we still don’t comprehend the damage rape does. In children it often results in lifelong debilitation. It takes a facet of personaltiy that can never be returned. Seems like sentences for sex offenders are still based in the old idea that rape is just some bad sex instead of torture, assault, and a whole assortment of violations. If our society understood the violence this is to a child, the harm it does them, I don’t think we’d balk so at castration.
You can’t live here and interact sexually with kids. If you intend to remain here, we need to be sure kids are free of adult sexual interactions with you. That’s our right. We make our rules.
Dan
Jan 17, 2008 at 10:23 pm
Thanks Michele. I’m sorry for what you went through. I’m so happy to hear you have healed and grown beyond it.
Michele
Jan 17, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Thank you Dan, I too have the same beliefs as you. It is good to see that someone makes some sense in here.
Dan
Jan 17, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Hey, some other discussion called me a bleeding heart something or other. Yay! I make sense to someone.
Our outrage alone is not enough. Clearly such abuse of childhood strikes a primal chord in most of us. But when we deny any humanity in predators, insist on seeing them as evil, we inhibit our ability to see them as people who need treatment. We’re not going to execute them upon conviction. We’re not going to permit the castration, mutilation or prison rape we often fantasize for them. So what are we going to do? If we tell them they are irredeemable monsters, chances are that’s what they’ll become. If they’re going to be among us eventually, among our children, their treatment needs serious consideration.
We all know and accept that prison is punishment and not rehabilitation for a car thief. He’ll probably steal again when he’s out and we’re ok taking those chances. Murder we impose long sentences because we’re not willing to take those chances. What chances are we willing to take with sex offenders? We know they reoffend.
I bet you children are one of the few things most of us might be willing to agree on calling “sacred.” So why are we taking these chances, putting active sex offenders, untreated and poorly monitored, among them?
Michele
Jan 17, 2008 at 11:06 pm
I think that is why I decided to speak out. I actually do not consider myself a victim in all of this because I refuse to want pity in all of this. I think the reason I thought it was approriate to speak out is to educate. You would never guess what I do for a living and what my degree is held in and I won’t devuldge that information however, I am proud to say that I give back to society and believe that “locking them up forever” won’t be a cure for them when release time comes. It is time to focus on education and treatment rather than what we current have. We must focus on these things simply because our laws do not give life sentences on such offenses, hence Debra Lafave, the Hyde Park rapist etc. It is time for a change and someone must take a stance to do something. Time to wake up people, they are among us and always will be, there is no island created to house them. These classified individuals are the only ones with their own web site, what about the web site for COVICTED murderers that have been released, domestic violent offenders, kidnappers, armed robbers, wow I could go on and on. Nothing will change until we change as a society.
Sparky
Jan 18, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Michele,
I do not believe there is a statute of limitations. Ed made bond today, the judge is apparently not taking this seriously.
Even if the statute has tolled, Ed is apparently lying about everything, saying this did not happen and nothing similar ever happened before. Detective Raschke needs to speak with you on the phone, please, please call him at 813-247-0450.
Dan
Jan 18, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I think it’s sad that all we’ve got right now is this crappy system, but it is all we have to work with. As much as I want to see Ed treated, I want to be sure he never gives in to his urges for pubescent girls again, no matter how that’s achieved. One guy can damage a lot of girls.
Michele, we’re so lucky you showed up on this blog. Will you tell us when you’ve talked to Det Rasche? Damn, I keep thinking how lucky those girls and others are that you’re out there.
Sparky
Jan 18, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Michele,
Thank you so much for your information.
Michele
Jan 18, 2008 at 6:01 pm
I made the phone call today and needless to say I do believe I will be able to assist in this. I am glad I am of sound mind and that this didn’t “screw me up”. I am a fighter and will fight for children rights, something was taken from me as a child and I don’t want it to happen again.
Michele
Jan 18, 2008 at 6:51 pm
oh I did confirm there is a statue of limitations on this crime.
Sparky
Jan 18, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Michele,
Thanks so much again! Yes, there is a statute but the detective said you will be of great help in showing a pattern of behavior in this monster.
Trench
Jan 18, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Michele, I appreciate your comments here but I just want to recommend to you be careful in what you post here. I wouldn’t want something you post here either to be used against you or hinder the investigation in someway.
Stacey
Jan 26, 2008 at 4:51 pm
ANY inkling of an implication that this was in ANY way the children’s fault nauseates me beyond belief. We are talking about a 37 year old MAN and children!!! If your four year old wants a beer, do you give it to them and then say it was his own fault because he asked for it? Come on people! Let’s get back to holding perpetrators accountable instead of blaming the victims. My heart goes out to the families of those two girls. Hopefully they will get the help they need to heal and move on with their lives.
Laurie
Jan 27, 2008 at 12:42 am
Stacey - I don’t think anyone here said that this was the child’s fault. The bigger picture for me is that parents need to do more!!!!
WE are responsible for our children. If something does happen to them, we share the accountability. We are not all powerful, however, and sometimes things happen in the best of homes. Why is it always a matter of blame and guilt?
Is it that the database and all the laws that have been passed on reporting and warning us of pedophiles and offenders, gives us a sense of false security?
Have we talked with our children about sexuality, relationships and other subjects?
Do we know our kids close friends, and their parents?
Most sex offenders are right under our noses.
Sparky - you said that this particular night’s communication ’slipped through the crack’. I do not understand how these things happen I guess - because it would seem to me a young girl would need a few conversations before she would go meet someone. I am just trying to understand how this happens, so we as parents can arm ourselves.
The only way we can learn how to keep our children safe is by understanding how it happens. It is never a childs fault when an adult takes advantage of them. Why do we need to always defend a child in this situation? That, to me is a given. We do need to look at all the circumstances, which includes how it happened, the offender, and possible impacts in the community.
Jay
Jan 31, 2008 at 8:37 am
well
Jay
Jan 31, 2008 at 9:09 am
I look at this as twisted. Media I am sure is playing this in there corner. What about this girl michelle. She was 13 he was 18. Is she trying to make the news too. She is probably fat, barefoot , 6 kids and ugly. The most excitement of her life. When they asked for people to come forward that is not the people they are looking for. What is this thing with the 12 yr old talking or texting in place of this foreign exchange student. Does she live with her. I got bits and pieces just have to put together. I have to agree these parents are messed up. I like looking into these kind of cases and getting the facts. He has no felonys bad driving record which you cant hold on him and property coming out of his ass. Business partners in some local businesses and does not fit a rapist. I think you better get with the state attn office and get to the bottom of this. I think they went to the paper and news to help the case look better. Some statements were public. He was over a friends house and this 12 yr old had conversations with a 15 yr old brother. And what about this penis the det found on the 12 yr olds phone. Nice checking up on that mom. Leave it to the dect. Some middle school kids penis. Does his parents know. Lets wait for that on the news. I havent looked up the girls names or what school they go to and it doesnt matter anyways. Alot of people that have kids shouldnt have. And does a 12 yr old actually know what givin head is. Does the parents keep dirty mags around or what. This is a case that really stuck me. I like looking at the bad guy and adding comments in favor for the parents. But this one is very odd .
Jay
Jan 31, 2008 at 9:35 am
Maybe I am confused. But the judge did throw away 8 counts out of the 10. That is why he made bond. This normally does not happen. They stay for a long time in jail. I am not on either side just being neutral on the whole thing. I run a invest company and I made it past this guys mommies house. I really did not see no jeep, but a new Jag XKR conv. I give up. If this guy is all you said does pet drive nicer cars than doctors and lawyers. Was his girlfriend at the bond hearing. His lawyer it looked like he was very well well dressed. His girlfriend look the same. I am sure some of these parents were there. You want to give me some insight.
Jay
Jan 31, 2008 at 9:55 am
If this was something worth following on the news ” my god it would be there”. I almost always follow the parents and victims on these things givin advice on many web sights. I enjoy helping people. This was a one time thing than vanished. Lets keep the smoke screen down and stay focus on your kids. If this does go to court I see it being a jury. And the sad thing is the kids are going to be in worse shape than before. Parents often don’t look at the big picture and it is ashame they look up to there moms and dads at times when it really needs to count. Good luck!!!
Mike & Mike
Jan 31, 2008 at 11:45 am
Yeah I am a little skepical on this too. I been sitting back reading stuff here and there. And hey J what is wrong with having a penis on your phone at 12. My kids got one. I followed some of your web advice for about a year. What company are you head of.
Michele
Jan 31, 2008 at 10:36 pm
I felt that I needed to comment to set the story straight. I came forward not for media, that would be ridiculous. I am not fat nor ugly nor do I have 6 children. I actually have a wonderful life, and I am highly educated. Why did I come forward because this sets the stage of this mans character, this shows that he has always been like this. Please Jay give it up, you got issues.
Red
Feb 1, 2008 at 7:28 am
I sure hope this is not the same Michele that has a brother name Joey. That used to hang out with my sisters and stir up all kinds of shit. 20 years ago. You got issues. Not only with the Ed thing saying to get attention that you had his kid and that he spent the night 20 years ago when he was on the couch with me and my family that night you said. But all the shit you talked about my family inbetween my sisters. If I was your family I would leave too. And besides, me and my wife saw you in Sweetbay playing in the bread isle about 4 months ago. You still look like you were run over by a truck. My family showed me this web site and we talked about not Ed but the shit u stirred up.I don’t know what happen; but I do remember the shit you talked. I wanted to call you a name so bad but my wife was with me. I think when you or if you go to court, I will let the judge know what kind of person you are. I can give a shit about the case. This is pay back from 20 years ago and my god I hope its on TV.
Red
Feb 1, 2008 at 7:34 am
And by the way Jay she had 3 kids with her. Yes she is fat and yes she got hit by a truck. Maybe a couple of them.
Mike & Mike
Feb 1, 2008 at 11:07 am
Hey Jay,
If u look at web sites here and there, On one of the sites a girl that goes to school with this 12 year old has a old profile saying she was 18 or 19 can’t remember and it reads fuck, shit ya bitches , than gives a phone number. Was it this girls profile linked to this case or this special friend student she lives with. It said her name was Olivia. Any ideas? Is it linked. Ya you hit the nail on the head on this one girl. This guy Red acts like this girl killed his dog. Looks like 1 down for the defense. Also can you tell me how you can research somebody and see what they own or what kind of businesses they are linked too. Esp when a title search does not reveal anything. Thanks J
Jay
Feb 1, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Mike ,
I believe it is linked to this. That was not a profile I would ever think a 12 yr old would write with her personel number on it. Thats why I can’t be all out for the kids in this. If it was a cut and dry case like most are, I would probably help anyway and for free through my company. The sad part is the parents not monitoring anything that they said they were. My kid would have broken legs if it was mine. One thing for the defense is that they have to say there was a motive for young children. A profile like what I saw in the blog with the girls personel E mail and number and date posted on myspace is a little much. I am sure this other characters attn is all over this. As for business and properties most people that are building that special nest egg put properties in trusts and other things. Given you one example; say you get into a car accident someone gets killed. Ok you have a 10 20 10 policy. 2 years later the people of this person that you killed on accident come after you. Well if u don’t have anything oh well. If there is a title search it will reveal nothing. Having something in trust is like being a string master on a puppet. Unless you know addresses or other people close to the person that might be in control , You can look them up that way. But it is very hard. There names just don’t pop up. People are not dum, there is alot to learn.
Jay
Feb 1, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Red,
It sounds like this girl is a winner. I been doing this for a long time and can sort these kind of people from anywere. Sounds like this girl was laying down at he truck stop. That bad huh? Have a good day , I got tons of cases to sort.
chris
Feb 1, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Hey Jay,
I had a friend that works for the courts, from what he said was the Judge wanted to keep this guy and in the middle of the courtroom asked the state attn if he could keep him. The state attn said no. It sounds like this case took on water from the start. Wasn’t there. Just going off what my friend said by the court reporter. So back to this guy on this site about the judge not taking this serious. He did. The state attn even said you can’t keep him. A rape kit come back in 48 hours, what happen.
Michele
Feb 1, 2008 at 5:55 pm
I guess I picked the wrong alias to use. I have no children Red. I have no clue who you are.
I will not be in court by the way, I have nothing to do with this case.
Laurie
Feb 1, 2008 at 6:59 pm
What this case is all about will not be known until the end of the trial, if there is a trial. Even then, will we ever really know the truth?
How many other girls and young women have been abused by this guy. By his age, and judging by the age he started, he will never stop this behavior without some serious treatment.
Does anyone know what happened as far as specific charges are concerned?
Prevention is so important….
Parents need to keep computers visible - in the same room - and check the history to see what websites have been visited. Also, check email accounts. I know there is software that you can get that will record what is said in IM’s and Chat Rooms.
Computers are not private machines unless they are off line. And, if you ever go online, someone- a stranger - can access where you have gone and what you have written or said. It is available or stored somewhere.
This young woman will suffer years of trauma because of this experience. It is setting her up unless she gets help. I hope to god someone is there for her.
Not every 12 year old has a penis on their phone. If they do, the phone should not be used by that 12 year old. You the parent are responsible if your child has this type of stuff on their phone. You are setting up your own child. Do something about it now. Maybe a sensitivity course would be good? Sexual Harassment?
This is not teaching a child about their body parts and sexuality in a healthy, respectful or age appropriate manner. That is why we have so many sexual abusers. Talk to your son.
Are there programs offered in the schools?
And, even if Michelle is the ‘Michelle’ what difference does it make how many children she has or what she looks like? That has nothing to do with someone’s credibility and trauma or abuse they may have suffered at the hands of this abuser.
And I can imagine the kind of shit that would be stirred up if abuse was disclosed. Usually, it is a family secret.
An adult has no business having sex with a child. It is very UNFAIR - to name a few reasons why.
Sparky
Feb 1, 2008 at 7:06 pm
red, mike and jay,
So you are buddies of the child-rapist? Which of you is his friend from gib-town?
Fret not, the case against ed is very strong. He will go away for a long, long time. I hope you get caught hanging with him when the chit goes down on him.
If the 14 year old said she was 18 on her site, ed’s first tip should have been her braces and under-developed body. ed knew exactly what he was doing, and he came back for more.
You turds are just enablers of ed. We’ll see if we can’t find out who your “friend” is at the court and see if they can be fired for releasing info about a minor victim in a sexual assault case.
In the meantime, stop trolling the elementary schools for chicks you losers.
Anon
Feb 1, 2008 at 7:10 pm
“Red” was a buddy of his Ed sued him back in 2006.
Lisa
Feb 1, 2008 at 7:12 pm
“Red” was a buddy of his Ed sued him back in 2006 found it right in the Pinellas County Clerk of Courts Web Site.
Michele
Feb 1, 2008 at 7:20 pm
Geesh look what this has turned into. Thank you for the comments Laurie and Sparky, Lisa I looked up the records and yep you are correct. There is so much more I could post here, but that would be wrong of me to do, so I will let it be.
Dan
Feb 1, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Clearly this age difference riles everybody up. I think some people riled up by this elsewhere defended a 21 year old who met a 14 year old online, got her to meet him behind a fire station, and took pictures of her having sex.
People here are also pointing out the 12 and 14 year olds’ shared blame with their enticing ways.
There are plenty of curious subtleties, but the bottom line is kids make very bad decisions. It’s their job in their early teens. Some teens have very bad examples, and kids are highly dependant on role models. They are vulnerable. We protect the vulnerable.
Kids cannot hold their own against adults. They are too confused, high strung, emotional, and a little nuts. Ask a 19 year old how they feel about how they were at 14 or 15. Most will tell you they were flat out crazy.
parents have a hard enough time monitoring and protecting these kids who are in the midst of tumultuous emotions and confusion. Good parents can miss something when an adult predator is involved, coaxing and interpretting partial truths for the kid. Many kids are pretty helpless to this. Adults are hobbbled when another adult is secretly working behind the scenes.
We can keep looking at the responsibility of parents and kids, because often their behavior is not ideal, but the odds are tough when an adult predator is involved. Predators work very hard to get get what they want. Sex is a crazy-maker too. They need to be dealt with harshly. Children are not sexual objects.
Ours laws often seem to reflect an old attitude about rape that sexual violation is not such a big deal. “It’s just sex, they’ll have it anyway.” We also used to think that a child manipulated and coaxed (so easy!) could consent. Old ideas. Clearly the majority of us are utterly outraged by the violation of a child. Our laws and penalties need to reflect our evolving understanding of the violence of coercing a child into sexual behavior.
Laurie
Feb 1, 2008 at 10:06 pm
There is clearly a difference between a 21 year old who has sex with a 14 year old from the same town, (an immature 21 year old), and a 37 year old who has sex with a 12 year old and a 14 year old from another town.
Granted, both men manipulated and took advantage of a young girl. The question still holds for the 37 year old - where did he learn this type of behavior and what the sexual norms are for our society? What was he taught?
This is not to say I am defending what he did - I don’t - I am asking questions to find out how this happened to begin with.
I also said the young girl will desperately need treatment. I never said or implied it was the young girls fault - I said she was probably a sexualized child. And that her parents need to watch over her.
These are two entirely different cases. That is what is wrong with the way we view sexual abuse - we lump all offenders and sex crimes together, when there are different reasons why offenders abuse. We do not recognize abusers because we have these visions in our heads about what they look like and who they are.
We need to focus on that as well as punishment. Most abusers live with their victims.
Dan
Feb 2, 2008 at 2:24 am
What does the same town or not have to do with it?
How about 21 and 12?
Dan
Feb 2, 2008 at 2:33 am
What if the 12 year old was mature and sexually expressive, physically developed. Still a youthful misstep?
Treatment takes into account all sorts of variables, all the shades of grey: history, intent, consciousness, empathy, remorse….But our criminal sytem has to be pretty cut and dry when it comes to sex with kids. Lacking a subtlely perceptive and responsively caring social structure, we rely on justice to keep our vulnerable safe. It is a sad thing when a criminal has had a wretched life that distorted him, but we are years from being able to deal with it.
We can’t risk kids the way we do with our compulsive desire to justify behavior we don’t understand or don’t want to see or believe.
Sparky
Feb 2, 2008 at 10:25 am
Dan,
Are you some kind of deviant, moronic loser?
A 12 year old. A TWELVE YEAR OLD!
I don’t care how “advanced” they are, a 12 year old is a CHILD! Any 37 year old loser who does a 12 year old needs to be locked away forever.
And poor ed has lied about the whole thing. In spite of the evidence against him, he told his girlfriend it never happened.
The best thing ed could do is plead guilty, take the max and askfor protective custody. Or commit suicide because some very bad people are just waiting for him…
Jay
Feb 2, 2008 at 10:29 am
I don’t know anybody
Jay
Feb 2, 2008 at 10:39 am
We all are not friends, but chatted on a few sites. You people like to jump alot. Things just don’t add up. I do not know this Ed and never said so. I like looking into cases and this is not the only site. I just go off what I see.
Jay
Feb 2, 2008 at 10:49 am
If u were not so narrow sighted and looked at what kids and adults said on other sites you would have a different view all together. If it is true why is this girls nickname HOE. Its came from more than a couple sources. If it is true. If this was my kid I would want to know why. The name is really wrong. This case is foul
Laurie
Feb 2, 2008 at 11:19 am
Dan - you are absolutely correct.
First, let me clear something up - when I was responding above to your comments about the Sean Lennon case, I was talking about Sean and the girl in that case. I don’t want anyone to think I was talking about the young girls in this case.
We should not be talking about one case, on another cases’ blog….unless we make it clear who we are talking about, which I didn’t.
In this particular case, this 37 year old man is definitely a predator. He has a long history.
In the case of Sean Lennon, this is the first time he has done something like this, and he is a very immature, sexually inexperienced 21 year old from a small town. The young girl he victimized is also from the same town.
It is different, and the overall intention is different. I never said he didn’t deserve some type of punishment, but to me it is more important he needs to be taught why it is wrong and the long term impacts of his behavior, and stop it before he becomes a full fledged predator. He does not deserve 7 years in prison, the same sentence we give to drunk drivers who murder someone. 7 years of treatment would be better.
Will Sean get the treatment he needs? Chances are he won’t. He will, however, probably be exposed to all sorts of behaviors in prison that will make him a better criminal in the future.
If a 12 year old girl is sexually expressive and physically developed, she is not getting what she needs from her parents or peers, or educational system, if she is choosing to meet someone she has met online. As you have said, kids do dumb things. What do we do with a 12 year old who is sexually expressive? Have any suggestions? This is the real nitty gritty.
There is a vast difference between a 21 year old and a 37 year old. The 37 year old should be locked up, and the key thrown away.
One of the biggest differences in these two cases is 25 years….meaning, Sean is 21 and was having sex with a 14 year old. A 7 year difference, in the age group of inexperienced and immature young adults.
The 37 year old was having sex with a 12 year old….a 25 year difference!!!! And the difference is in a mature very experienced adult!
It seems very clear to me.
A totally unrelated story, but to illustrate the whole idea of how we judge when someone is capable or competent -
I remember when my kids were 5 years old, the bus would stop in the middle of the hill to pick them up for kindergarten.
When they turned 6, the school deemed it was unsafe to stop in the middle of the hill, and instead thought it appropriate for them to walk 3 blocks to catch the bus. Go figure….It is the schools determination that a 6 year old is much more mature and capable of making decisions than a 5 year old. Hmmm….Of course, I always took them to school, so it was a moot point. But, How does this make sense?
Our society is rampant with laws and rules that do not make sense.
So - to bring it back to this situation. If Sean had been 19 or 20 (which in emotional maturity he is actually more like 17) the age spread is not so drastic. Did he magically get the knowledge he needed at 21? How???? Would he still have received the same sentence if he were 19 or 20?
It is a proven, scientific fact, that young adults do not have the brain power to make these kinds of decisions. So yes, we must protect our children. We the parents are responsible. And yes, sometimes even in situations where we have done everything possible, a member of our family is abused or murdered. That is where the treatment for survivors comes in. Something our society, until most recently, was lacking in.
You have said it all above….
‘Lacking a subtlely perceptive and responsively caring social structure, we rely on justice to keep our vulnerable safe.’
We, society, are not taking responsibility for this problem. We encourage the behavior in so many ways, and them slam people when they take advantage of it. We the people need to change.
Until we have even a modicum of fairness, a lot of young men will suffer for being stupid. Alas! Isn’t that how it always has been?
And, we will never gain the knowledge or information we need to actually do something about this crazy mess unless we are fair in our assessments and punishment of sexual offenses. Not every one who commits a sex crime, is a predator.
I do not have a compulsive desire to justify behavior we do not understand. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and understand all to well the behaviors and motivations of predators.
I am trying to open up dialogue so parents and people in general will really take a look around them and start thinking about this problem - a problem that has been around since man has been on earth.
Parents are the first line for defense against abuse. Leaving it up to the government only creates more of a mess.
The tactics we have used so far have not worked. We need a new approach, and we need understanding for both the victims and offenders. Otherwise, we keep repeating the same behavior. You as a professional must know this all too well.
Questioning does not equal defending or justifying.
And, lastly, it is very frustrating to keep repeating what I am saying. If you read all my posts, you will understand, instead of taking things out of context and running with one sentence without looking at how it fits in with the bigger picture. Something we humans do constantly. Communication and understanding is key.
Laurie
Feb 2, 2008 at 11:33 am
A 12 year old child is never responsible for what a 37 year old has done, even if her nickname is hoe. How did she get this nickname, and why????
Parents are the first line of defense for predators. Anyone who thinks a sexually advanced child is responsible, is a predator.
How did that child get the knowledge to begin with?
And, sparky, Dan was not saying that these victims are responsible….ease up people and read the whole response, even if they are long, because they contain alot of information!!!! DON’T RUN WITH ONE SENTENCE AND THINK THAT IS THE WHOLE IDEA.
Sparky
Feb 2, 2008 at 1:06 pm
I love how all the weirdo pedophile lovers on here blame everyone but ed. Maybe the 12 year old has low self-esteem, maybe she isn’t getting enough love…
So wonderful eddie slinks in and gives them some love and self-esteem. If it’s not ed’s fault then why is he lying about the whole thing?
I don’t care about the girls’ nicknames, their myspace blogs, etc. Ed is a child-raping monster and he’s going to jail. Once there, I predict he will meed a violent end to his child-predation days.
Laurie
Feb 2, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Sparky - no one is saying it is not Ed’s fault.
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I know that the true answer to stopping this behavior, is by prevention.
This stuff turns my stomach, makes me angry, makes me want to destroy.
Since I have lived with the efft up after effects of abuse I suffered at the very young age of 5, I know the answer is not to simply lock these guys up and not do anything about all the other details events and things that happened leading up to the whole trauma.
I am more concerned with the survivors of these types of crimes. But, I also know that we will not dent what happens if we do not prevent.
If a childhood disease had the same statistics as childhood sexual abuse has, we would be up in arms. And when something like this happens we are up in arms. But then our energies seem to die out and we are not watchful on a daily basis.
If people were dying, becoming ill, left with a host of ailments, after drinking water, wouldn’t we look at the causes of how that water become deadly to people? Especially children????
chris
Feb 3, 2008 at 8:19 am
People are crazy
chris
Feb 3, 2008 at 11:42 am
Laurie,
You sound like you got it together. I just want to say if my kid was on other web sites with kids she went to school with. She is only 12. I saw the profile under another students profile along with parents comments and I have to say, these parents did not monitior this kids behavior. She sounds like a real winner too. This girl sounds like a real ganster
Mike&Mike
Feb 4, 2008 at 10:19 am
That is a pretty bad name for a 12 yr old to have. Laurie I think that parents and kids talked about it, her name and school came up on other sites. I will leave the name and school out because I put my self in the parents shoes. Were I think that what every one see the bigger pic, the parents were not overseeing like they said. Kids pull a lot of shit and I did too as a kid. But to make your self out to be these must observant parents is not working in there favor. My kid would have been f up if my friends called me hoe and I looked like a gangster too. If I never seen the other sites and kids and parents talking I would be all out for this 12 yr old. I agree with cowboy back on this page. Lock the parents up.
Dan
Feb 4, 2008 at 11:01 am
The immaturity and underdevelopment of young adult minds is why we make such strident laws against engaging children in sex. It draws a clear line they may not be able to resist on their own. We enforce laws or they become mere possibilities, and we know how young adults like risk.
Even a first time, even with a fairly narrow age gap, when someone of superior status engages someone of inferior status (age, mental capacity, authority), it’s preying, even if it is complex and subtle. Part of the reason pedophiles are attracted to children is because they like the social interactions so much, feel comfortable interacting with a kid and don’t get the same charge from adult women. This is true for young men who choose pre-consent age girls too. Now I don’t happen to think that urge for the ease of a predatory relationship is necessarily evil, only misunderstood in the young adult. When anyone resists the urge to prey and does not prey, they have my utmost respect.
We’re blurring treatment and our laws here. Clearly we are not protecting our children adequately. Clearly far too many parents in this country are not capable parents. And predators are having a field day with the various new supports and access they enjoy. So how do we protect our most sacred trust, our children?
We are far from an ideal society. How I would love it if 14 year old children could come to me and tell me of urges to prey. How I wish there was treatment, a system in place. But there isn’t one. It’s hit or miss. Far too many kids are hurt. Just about the only thing we can do in our current system is communicate our stance on using children by being severe with criminals. They need to be removed from contact with our kids. They need aggressive treatment. We should not be risking putting them back among our kids.
We can concoct all sorts of scenarios with mitigating greys. With a sophisticated system of treatment, we might fairly address the complexities in each case. (IQ is one near and dear to my heart) But what we have is a very blunt tool. “No underage girls or child porn or you go to jail.) While we attempt to refine it, we still need to keep swinging it.
Sparky
Feb 4, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Jay,
Let me correct you on something. The judge DID NOT throw out any counts. He just required bail on two counts, and ROR’d him on the other eight counts.
Jay
Feb 5, 2008 at 7:32 am
Like I said before, sounds like the case took water on. Did I not write this a while ago. I guess what Laurie told you sank in.
N/A
Feb 5, 2008 at 8:12 am
I just want to tell the parents out there, That next time you have a child spend the night make sure you atleast meet the other parents. A lot of parents are sickin about what had happen, but even more about their parents. If I had my child spend the night, I would get to know the parents.
Chris
Feb 5, 2008 at 5:22 pm
What did they do, throw the kid out on the front lawn . I guess if someone was willing to watch their headache for the night I would be excited and open the door as I was driving.
Mike&Mike
Feb 5, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Well Jay
I think you were right all along. Is this na person one of the parents that there kids go to school with. What did she say to you. I am not getting it. Can u fill me in.
Mike&Mike
Feb 5, 2008 at 6:07 pm
What is the site that u weretalking to her in
Jay
Feb 6, 2008 at 7:25 am
well not getting into details, but the kid needs new parents. It seems like they are graspping for straws.
Dan
Feb 6, 2008 at 5:46 pm
I thought the story was two girls, not related, met him. There were myspace and text message records. The text for the second meeting was shown to police. I thought this was unraveled through message records.
Tampa Tribune said:
Several days later, Oberwise sent a text message to the 12-year-old’s cell phone asking for another meeting, said sheriff’s office spokeswoman Debbie Carter. When Oberwise arrived at the designated meeting place Friday near Hawkpark Boulevard and Lithia Pinecrest Road, deputies were there waiting for him, Carter said.
And the following Tamp Tribune article is dated Jan 26. It provides more details, including DNA evidence on clothing:
www2.tbo.com/content/2008/jan/26/12-year-olds-shouldnt-have-myspace-pages/
Jay
Feb 6, 2008 at 5:56 pm
How could they have DNA evidence and ROR 8 counts only charge him with two
Mike&Mike
Feb 6, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Jay are u on here. You are the expert u tell us
Jay
Feb 6, 2008 at 6:13 pm
U know I read that and this is really looking like these people are pushing the issue. What did they do did this guy do tricks and try to blow a nut over the girls head. If u have DNA would it not be in the girls pants. I was reading ever ones comments and this dude sparky wanted to know who was this guys friends in gib town. I look it up on the map and found out they are next to each other. Did this guy have friends in the exact same area.
Mike&Mike
Feb 6, 2008 at 6:24 pm
I was reading and thought it was the 14 yr old that tipped it off its on the front. I thought he did a special trip across town to meet this 12 yr old. Did they take blood or what from the sexual pred
Dan
Feb 6, 2008 at 6:30 pm
We’ve got a Girls Gone Wild youth culture promoting hypersexual displays among girls. College kids struggle with the rampantly false bullshit of this ideal. I shudder to think of the impact on young adolescents.
Girls roughly 11 - 16 are compelled to find themselves valuable in a way that they are essentially helpless to. They report spending more time and energy on discovering and creating a sense of value (desirablity) than any other thought in their heads. It is a crucial and irresistable stage of development. They can be desirable teammates, desirable companions, a desirable source of ideas or expertise or entertainment, and easiest of all, they can be seen as desirable sex objects. And what we parents need to know is, they care very little for the source of a sense of value. They gravitate toward the richest reward. Few may comment on her violin playing, mom and dad might seek her dinner companionship infrequently and unenthusiastically, she’s not the best artist or student in school, but the response to her flirtations and naughtiness can be overwhelmingly gratifying.
She’s looking for a framework to see herself in, a label to understand herself and solidify her value: “I’m creative, an artist.” “I am a energetic jock and good student.” ‘I’m fun and silly and everyone wants me to babysit.” “I’m sexy and compelling, a creative flirt mature and and desirable beyond my years.”
“People want me.” At 12 or 14 or even 16, they don’t really care how you want them as long as you do. It is absolutely necessary to them, one way or another.
Any kid under 16 who takes up with an adult is ravenous for approval. We can talk about monitoring all we want, but kids and predators will find a way around monitoring. We need to fill kids up.
I can think of kids who have and kids who would turn in an adult who made advances. They are strong, put a high price on their value, are full of self respect, feel rich in ability,resources, support and desirability. Parents need to give kids that, or they’ll get around us to find attention and approval elsewhere.
Dan
Feb 6, 2008 at 6:38 pm
http://www.tampabays10.com/news/local/article.aspx?storyid=71627&GID=l7Cnns6g7XFY/uKLo/S1WNesIuoY9rRjPW7AoECVgSI=
This article from a tv station also says that he contacted the 12 year old via text and the cops picked picked him up when he went to meet the girls again.
The DNA evidence is on the clothing. Sounds to me from the euphamistic discriptions that the many counts of “lewd and lascivious battery” means he did not penetrate them but engaged in other acts. Predators often build up to penetration. The term “rape” is often applied to sexual contact of various sorts with kids.
Dan
Feb 6, 2008 at 6:43 pm
They choose which charges to press and which to drop based on what will make the most effective prosecution. They go over the alleged acts, label them, then see what they can best prove and get results from their prosecutorial efforts. Or they’ll choose not to waste efforts on acts with minor punishment in favor of those with greater punishment. Ex: they might consider the myspace messages one lewd act, but discard it in favor of pursuing the lewd act that left DNA evidence on clothing.
Jay
Feb 6, 2008 at 6:44 pm
This thing is not cut and dry like every other one I see. I am all for hanging this guy, but after seeing how the parents talked about this 12 yr old not wanting their kids to hang around with and the changing of stories as in this guy had oral sex with her. Ok this is somewhat sex. they have DNA on her jacket. I mean what did this guy do Bite her in the arm. After reading ever thing now this is so over fetched
Mike&Mike
Feb 6, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Jay, Remember the one guy last year that picked up the school girl from walking home. his lawyer tried to get him out but they had dna evid. Hes still in jail. No bail. They said it was this guys DNA evid. On this note it says this girl had it on her jacket. It did not say this Overwise guy. I am all for hanging this guy too, As you read more everday it seems like they are out to hang this one
Jay
Feb 6, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Parents always stick together in cases like this. But after staying neutral in this, It sounds like this kid was F up way before. They could have found an easier target than someone that has kids and no record.
Dan
Feb 6, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Here’s the Sheriff’s press release:
http://www.hcso.tampa.fl.us/Press_Releases/2008/1/08-020.htm
I’m all for fairness, truly. I hate to see lives ruined by false accusations. But they picked this guy up at the place he arranged to meet the 12 year old, from his cell to hers, then he drove to get with her. I don’t care what the DNA source was or where it was found. Those circumstances don’t concern me. He met a child to talk her into sexual activity. He crossed the line. He preyed. I’m very thankful he didn’t get far with her, but when thinking about his punishment, I don’t care much how far he got with her. That’s due to the good acts of others, not him.
Mike&Mike
Feb 6, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Yeah Jay,
I guess u are right. Something is diff wrong. I am always for our kids, But this is really screwed up from the start. They are struggling. Or what u said taking in water.
chris
Feb 7, 2008 at 7:31 am
Wow
chris
Feb 7, 2008 at 7:32 am
After reading this and other things this kid needed mental treatment way before this.
N/A
Feb 7, 2008 at 7:30 pm
I feel as a watchful parent and my daughter is in the same school, I personally talked to some of the parents and even though no one is for this guy, No one is for there kids hanging out with this 12 yr old. I have to come forward as a parent not knowing and only hearing the so called facts and knowing the 12 yr old, Well lets just say I am not a totally all out to hang this guy. Reading all the lines and getting a feel , I just hate feeling like this and having kids and knowing there are real people that prey on kids. The issue and other parents said it too, is being pushed a little. Maybe its the way some parents feel about the 12 yr old. It shouldnt be that at all but it is. I hate to write this but, its the way I feel. Its not cut and dry and this kid needed much treatment with the names and problems she cause other children. this guy sounds like he had problems in a way too
Trench
Feb 8, 2008 at 12:14 am
Do you feel like a big man ostracizing a 12 year old girl who is a victim of sexual assault? You make me sick.
Jay
Feb 8, 2008 at 7:14 am
This is not even worth my time. Did it or did it not happen. Mike if you are here see if you see what I see read it and let me know.
Dan
Feb 8, 2008 at 8:30 am
Did it happen? Phone records, computer records, some sort of DNA on her clothes, and him driving intothe waiting arms of the police for a meeting he’d arranged with a pre-teen child he’d managed to get away from her older friend, a child cut from the herd because of her neediness. All that surely happened. It’s enough to show him a predator.
12 year olds go to grown men because they are needy. It appalls me how often being treated like crap at school is part of it. That can overcome good parenting. Kids get labels they didn’t earn ALL the time, every day. Kids can be MEAN. They don’t know how to be. Parents and other adults need to correct them.
Does he need help? Most certainly. And he had about 20 years to get it. His choice. He chose lots and lots of jail. I hope in jail (until he is old) he has that saving moment when he discovers in himself the abject horror and regret for what he chose to do: harm a child and teach her in a way she will never escape that she is human garbage.
Poor baby. God damn.
Dan
Feb 8, 2008 at 8:44 am
Overty sexuality (ex: 12 year old with a slut label) says is seriously amiss. Sometimes it means a history with sexual abuse.
Sounds like this poor little girl is having a horrible time. The message is: “Hey Kids! if a perv contacts you and meets you and arranges to meet you never ever tell anyone or you will be labeled a slut and people will avoid you. We will prove you are the garbage you always feared you were. Suck it up! If you’re 12 and some nasty old guys wants to pay attention to you, well, that’s your problem, nasty girl.”
Dan
Feb 8, 2008 at 9:03 am
Giving a child even a shred of blame in this situation has one source. It comes from a deep seated, rock hard belief that, in their true selves, all men are animals who will fuck anything given a chance. It’s saying: “come on, you know guys. He was entrapped. I mean, they invited him. They went.”
Here’s some information you need. Even if there were no chance of being discovered, no matter what, some men would not take the chance to fuck or even fondle a young teen girl. See, some men have empathy and hurting the girl would hurt them. They don’t feel desire for the girl. Men can think girls are pretty and yet don’t want to fuck them at all. Wow. No seriously, it’s true. In fact, brace yourselves, young girls give many men a gross out stomach flip flop when the girls flirt. Now you’re thinking that sick feeling is because the man is feeling like he’s been found out and imaging what would happen if he enacted his desires. That’s you asshole. many many men feel sick by teenage flirtations just because it’s icky and inappropriate. I’m not making this up.
We teach our boys with this bullshit. they learn they are (deeply secretly) pigs too.
Men are not pigs. We live in a society that assumes deep in his heart, each man is a pig. It’s not true. One way to change this cultural myth is for men to have zero tolerance for unacceptible deviant behavior.
How come you guys aren’t blaming the 14 year old? I can think of almost no 12 year olds who wouldn’t do precisely what a 14 yea old friend convinced him or her to do.
Jay
Feb 8, 2008 at 10:36 am
Yeah,
Pushing the envelope
Jay
Feb 8, 2008 at 10:41 am
Nobody never said it was wrong. I am sure u are not reading what other parents wrote. Surface of this case looks bad for this guy. Ever one sticks together in cases like this. I do. After everything said, I don’t think it will even go to court. I am not the system but……….
Jay
Feb 8, 2008 at 10:43 am
Read what others that go to school with this kid wrote, and every comment, tell me how you feel, And I have kids.
Dan
Feb 8, 2008 at 11:36 am
I haven’t read anything yet that doesn’t sound like pitchfork waving or ignorant bullshit. Where should I read to convince me these girls share blame with the deviant?
Mike&Mike
Feb 8, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Dan,
I think were people differ is the fact that these parents were suppose to be over this girl and wasn’t. Nothing really came out intill a couple weeks ago may a little longer give or take. Some of the bullshit this girl pulled on others kids and these parents claiming that they were these greatest parents. What I am saying if you read each one of just this comment section you get a idea. But everything is twisted to make this guy look the best for media. Parents were talking about this girl and this other one that spent the night, But the parents never meet. Pushing the issue and it seems to me everones attitude is that no body is sure. No the girls are not to blame Dan. Their parents are. These people all agree. When you look at the Myspace page of this girl and that she lived with her student friend saying she was 19 and other students moms brought it to the table. One thing claims this guy drove clear across town for this 12 yr old. On one of the comments some asks about which one is friends of this guy from gib town. Did this girl already know him before all this myspace stuff existed
Mike&Mike
Feb 8, 2008 at 12:18 pm
When some of the parents talked to their kids, the kids showed them what her profile looked like and one of the parents even made comments about stuff a 12 yr old did at school. Its not what a 12 yr old should due. If their was any sex at all would the dna been on her pants. Even oral sex. No body knows what happen. But off everything said its so much a mixed bag.
Mike&Mike
Feb 8, 2008 at 12:24 pm
I got kids due I want my kid around this shit NO!!! Do I beleive this case to be true. No. At first I wanted to shoot him. Now after everyone spoke up the answer is NO. Read each comment just on this page and look for a pic. This article I feel is a waste of time.
Mike&Mike
Feb 8, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Even though it was a good thing to have these girls off the myspace bullshit which should never existed, But one of the parents that did a little investigation into her daughter found this girls profile in her hard drive computer. And was asking other parents questions. One of the parents said the profile was erased. But it was like ganster. Myspace is not to blame like the beginning of this page trying to say. Even though ever other case is like that.
Dan
Feb 8, 2008 at 12:42 pm
So we’re seeing the same comments. I thought there was some different information out there.
Her parents could be hopeless drug addicts. Whatever. It doesn’t matter how bad her parents are or how fucked up she is. We know a grown man drove to meet a 12 year old and met police instead. An we have internet and cell records.
If we’re trying to get to the societal ills that make a child think acting like a slut is good, or the problems of parenting in the computer age, or how to handle kids with crappy parents, it really has nothing to do with this predator. All the “taking on water” and questions about did it happen make it seem like there are facts we are missing. Nothing can mi